the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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