Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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