I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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