So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
