Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
