Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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