My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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