Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
