At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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