pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
