I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
