So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize