How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
