Small penises have feelings too.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
