Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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