hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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