Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
