last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
