It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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