what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
