Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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