u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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