i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you never un-have a 4some
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
