I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
