i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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