So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
