I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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