He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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