I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How external is "for external use only"?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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