i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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