Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They have beer where we have blood.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
