video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
