HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
