so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
