Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize