Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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