I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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