its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
