3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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