You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
