This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
