Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
