you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
