What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize