I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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