I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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