I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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