shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize