I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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