First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
