Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
