Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
