How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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