just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
