You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
