Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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