My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
