I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
