If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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