ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
