on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
