So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
