This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
