It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
