I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
