I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
